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as easy as knowing yourself

Kate Johnson

What transforms authority into trustworthy leadership?

It starts with you.

Cultivating trust beyond the authority of your title begins with self-awareness. Your greatest leadership asset is you. So, you have to know yourself. The type of leadership where “knowing yourself” is a priority relies on understanding and embracing your authentic self, including everything you do well, your best characteristics, and even your flaws. Without a full understanding of your imperfect and wonderful self, you cannot effectively lead the imperfect and wonderful people who need you.

But where to begin?

I want to share three simple practices that will help you increase your self-awareness, deepen your team’s trust in you, and support your ongoing growth.



#1 Integrate your values into your work and daily habits.


Identify your values.

This can be as simple as asking yourself a few questions, like these:

  • What matters to me?

  • What do I want to be known for?

  • What is my leadership fingerprint?

Your goal here is to provide yourself with words that give you a reference for what you value. Put thought into this, but don’t overthink it. Keep it simple. You don’t need a list of 20 values. Personally, I have three: Creativity, Humor, and Grace. You can read more about these here if seeing an example will help you.


Define the behaviors that support your values.

Ask yourself, “If I value this, how should I act?” You can do this for each value or take a holistic look. Either way, use this time to get clear about the specific behaviors that will bring your values to life. Note that while mindsets do play a role in living your values, your team can’t see what you’re thinking. Make this step about the visible actions that others will encounter.

 

Examine your work life.

Take a comprehensive look at your work—your job description, the meetings you attend regularly, the regular tasks you complete, and the relationships—and determine where your behaviors may need to change. Do you have the opportunity to do more or less of something? Do you need to improve in one area or another to ensure your actions and values align? I recommend creating a list of any changes you identify. Putting this in writing will help you create and keep a commitment to change.

 

Audit yourself.

Make it a habit to find a few minutes at the end of each day and evaluate the interactions you had and the decisions you made. Again, ask yourself a few simple questions. Did I behave in a way that demonstrated my values? If not, why not? What can I do differently tomorrow?

Defining your values allows you to focus on understanding yourself in an elemental way. Connecting your values to your actions and your work, and then honestly assessing how well you are aligned each day, is both a way to practice self-awareness and to build trust. This is a starting point. You can continue the benefits of weaving your values into your work by modeling what you expect from others.



#2 Be the role model your team needs.


Make your values public.

Use the work you did to identify values and supporting behaviors to communicate this important information to your team.  This lets you place your values at the center of your leadership and decision-making. This level of leadership transparency also introduces accountability for one’s actions to the conversation. When you tell your employees that you are committed to behaving in specific ways because of your values, it elevates behavior to the level of outcomes. It communicates that how someone acts at work matters as much as the results they get.

 

Be vulnerable and humble.

Now, sharing the values and behaviors you are committed to comes with a consequence. It means that your mistakes and missteps will be more evident. If you believe that a leader needs to be perfect, this could be kind of a big problem for you. But leaders who pursue authenticity and self-understanding recognize that they are not perfect. They know that stepping up to lead means inevitably stumbling where people will see. The good news is that honestly acknowledging mistakes is the surest way to show your team that you are aware of yourself and the impact you have on them. Taking responsibility for learning from poor choices helps people to trust that you will guide them when they make mistakes of their own.

Being a role model does not mean being flawless. It means being humble enough to reflect not just on successes, but on your failures and to commit to change. Taking time to communicate your commitments with your team and to reflect on your performance is a powerful way to create trust that extends beyond authority. Moreover, self-awareness depends heavily upon self-reflection. Knowing yourself as a leader can’t happen without it. Our third practice reflects how to actively cultivate your awareness.



#3 Set aside dedicated time to think.


Use this time to uncover your strengths and passions.

Humble self-awareness does not encompass false modesty. Instead, authentic leaders use reflection for self-discovery and to achieve a balanced understanding of themselves. There are a number of tools to explore your strengths (the CliftonStrengths assessment is a well-established, credible model that I have used and recommended more times than I can count). You can also perform a simple inventory and used a handful of these dedicated “think times” to journal about this. Consider using one or more of these prompts to guide your reflection:

  • When have you felt most successful? What skills, abilities, and experiences did you use to achieve this feeling of success?

  • What are some frequent compliments you receive? What does recognition of your work most often entail?

  • If you never needed another paycheck and could do absolutely anything, what would that be?

  • When you retire, how do you want others to describe what you’ve accomplished in your life?

  • What did you want to be when you grew up? How closely does your job today reflect this? What, if anything, might be missing?

 

Reflect on your opportunities.

Your think time can (and should) also serve as a time to compare and contrast your strengths and passions with your development needs. Knowing yourself must include facing the areas where you fall short or where you still need to learn. This is a mirror twin to exploring your strengths and passions. Again, I recommend using this time to journal—writing things down creates a sense memory and adds retention. Think about reversing the intent of the earlier questions:

  • When have you struggled the most at work? Which of your attributes contributed to this? (I lacked the experience I needed. Or, my attitude didn’t match the circumstances well. Or, I was overwhelmed and didn’t ask for help.)

  • What themes have there been in any critical or constructive feedback you’ve received in recent years?

  • What skill gaps or competency needs might prevent you from taking your next career step?

The goal here isn’t to make yourself feel bad or less than. Instead, this exercise allows you to understand your own growth needs by surveying your past (recent and more distant) and seeing what you’ve learned or have the chance to learn. When you know this, you can then decide what you want to do about it. Do you have more to learn? Do your strengths more than adequately compensate for any gaps or weaknesses?

 

Share your lessons learned to help others.

There’s a learning model in nursing: “See one. Do one. Teach one.” We begin by observing, then progress to doing. The final stage to demonstrate knowledge and ability is to teach others. This model can help you as a leader. You have learned from others. You have gathered skill and experiences that allow you to perform your current role. Your next responsibility is to share what you know and have learned. The time you take for self-reflection can easily translate into a practice of sharing lessons learned with your team. Imagine being able to apply what you’ve explored and discovered about your own career highs and lows to a mentoring relationship. Or guiding your team through similar self-reflections to bolster their awareness and demonstrate your concern for their growth. Sharing what you’ve learned helps you build trust, foster psychological safety, and create a culture where learning is valued as much as success.



Values, behaviors, and reflection. These are the simple building blocks for authentic leadership that demonstrates self-awareness. Leaders who know themselves understand that this is ongoing process of self-discovery. It is a disciplined approach to leading that produces exceptional results. If you’re ready to take your leadership and self-awareness to the next level, let’s connect. Because authentic, self-aware leadership dedicates time and energy to the self in order to have the ability to focus on others and their success.  

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